2020 was quite the year.
Like many…it didn’t go quite as planned when resolutions were made at the start of it.
Most people are going to recall it as the year of Covid-19 or Coronavirus, depending on whom you talk to.
The year of the masks.
Except for me.
True, I will remember those things.
Yes, I will have my own opinions and beliefs regarding them, too.
But the pandemic will not be my memory of 2020.
It will be the year I was diagnosed with heart disease.
37 years young.
Second book published, moved to a different state, Mr Big passed away in my arms, and in comes cardiomyopathy like an express train from Chicago to Geneva, IL with only four stops.
It will be the year I died and was reborn on October 10, 2020.
It will be the year that my body showed me how strong it really can be, even when it takes a break from living for a few seconds…or minutes…actually, I will never know how long I suffered cardiac arrest.
It will be the year that I fell even more in love with my husband than I ever fell before because of the strength he showed me. He reminded me how in the very worst of times, he will prevail as an amazing father and family man that he is inside and out. He drove four hours every day to be at my bedside in the ICU, always with a smile on his face and always with a bag packed for me as if that day would be the day he would drive me home.
It will be the year I saw how strong a two year old can be. My rainbow baby boy having to quit breastfeeding with no warning due to the new medications I would be on. Him having to learn how to fall asleep in an entirely new routine, again. Him having to learn how Mama cannot pick him up or hold him for a few weeks.
The first time we were ever away from each other overnight and I didn’t even get to say goodbye.
It will be the year that I had to search my soul and find strength I put away after IVF. Strength and questioning in a higher source, which for me is God. Wondering why, again, I was going through the unthinkable, and wondering why, again, I seem to fall into situations that I don’t think I deserve to be in.
But, let me stop and say what a great year it was in so many unforgettable ways.
I learned the power of community.
I learned the power of first responders.
I learned the power of friends.
I learned the power of family.
I learned the power of modern medicine.
I learned to power of love and loss, and how much I need a furbaby in Gatsby, probably more than he needs me.
I learned the power of a second chance.
Every moment counts in this life. So many of us think tomorrow is another day…but I know tomorrow never comes. Sometimes, tomorrow is too late. The opportunity to continue to make changes to my life and my outlook, how I eat and exercise, how I want to raise and guide my family, how I look at people when I see their true colors…sometimes you have to start now.
This website has gotten a facelift, if you will. I have made the decision to focus on more than infertility awareness.
Because I have a new passion and hunger for heart disease prevention. I partnered with the American Heart Association and Go Red for Women as I document my survival of sudden cardiac arrest and recovery with my internal defibrillator.
I need to take this new chapter in my story and expand upon it in order to help save another life besides mine.
Because sitting around feeling sorry for myself is not an option.
I have a lot of life left to live and helping others with a similar deck of cards might be my new calling.
Either way, I am back.
I am ready more than ever to bring the world a product and information I feel people want and need.
Welcome to tesskossow.com.