I was spring-cleaning the other day, and I came across an article that I had received while going through IVF. My sister had sent it to me, and I was so touched by her thoughtfulness that I laminated it and put it in my office.

It is not an article about IVF. It is not about pregnancy. It’s not even geared toward women or infertility.

It is an article about the art of how to relax and breath and warm up your body from the inside. Walking a newbie step-by-step into simple meditation and finding a sense of relaxation to take with oneself as they move throughout the day, my sister sent the article to me with a note about how she thought I could use this as I went about my treatments.

A simple gesture that I still refer to several years later.

What I love about this article is that my sister didn’t try to tell me she knew what I was going through. She didn’t try to tell me “it will all work out.” She didn’t try and take the pain away through lecture or alternative medication recommendation.

She sent me an article to help me get through this cycle in a calm and peaceful manner on my own.

She helped me understand how to find my balance in infertility.

Because infertility is hard.

There is no common cure to this that will work for everyone. You actually have no idea if or when you will face it, and for me, it was as much of a shock as that first needle.

But, once I accepted that this was not going to be easy, and that this was going to be painful, and that it might not work out the way I had planned, I gained a deeper respect for the process.

The sun will rise again, and I found a way to have a family. I treat my body like the temple it is, and I don’t beat myself up mentally for feeling the way I do at times.

I found the reason for this happening to me and made it something I could learn and benefit from…maybe even help others along the way.

Speed up a few years and here I am, still trying to find the balance and meaning for my every action as I raise this little miracle baby with Dan.

Because infertility is hard, but it is not what defines me.

It’s only part of the story.