I took Ferris to a play date the other day.
So much to do.
So much to see.
He was hands-on to just about everything there was to explore.
He loves playhouses and kitchens. He can make his way around a pretend store, loves to push a shopping cart his size and pick out groceries. And drive a car…yes please!
Then we came upon an empty baby stroller. Assuming this was some sort of oddly shaped cart, he began to push it. “Wait!” I said. “We need to find the baby that goes in there. This is a stroller, and strollers hold a baby.” After I showed him the baby doll that goes into the stroller, and how the baby doll gets strapped in just like Ferris, he looked at me confused. He then took the baby doll by the head, walked away with the baby doll, and dropped the baby doll elsewhere at the play date only to go back to the empty stroller and push that instead.
“Oh no”, I said to my friend. “Guess we will have to work on that!”
And it’s not because Ferris will have a sibling. We all know that is not meant in this lifetime’s deck of cards.
It’s because I am raising a strong son without “gender roles”. Ferris is just as welcome to play with dolls as anyone else. He needs to understand how to care for a baby doll, just like Mama cares for him. He needs to understand how precious and special a baby doll is.
Just like he is to Mama.
He needs to understand that not everyone can play with baby dolls.
Just like everyone cannot all have their own baby.
I have no idea what Ferris’ future holds, but one thing I do know is I will not hold anything back from him. What if he is to be a father someday? A single father? A father of many children? A father who adopts? A father who went through infertility? A father who goes through IVF? A father who conceives a child with his partner easily? A father who experiences a miscarriage?
A man who might choose not to have a child.
It doesn’t matter to me. I want Ferris to have the knowledge and the understanding of what families can be, and that includes all shapes, sizes, colors, and lifestyles.
Everyday I have with him, I thank God, my lucky star, my guardian angel, my health and sound mind, my strength, and my determination to have done everything I did that may have lead Ferris into my arms. I do all that I can not to raise a jerk, to show him how to live life, and to shower Ferris with all the love in my heart. So that whatever life brings his way, he will have the mind, body, and soul to handle it and understand that he will be okay.
For now, playtime is where he bonds with others, as well as discovers more about himself, and seeing him take interest in the baby stroller was eye opening to moments that little boys may not have engaged in many years ago.
IVF doesn’t discriminate nowadays, either.
And I thank God every night that IVF chose me to get to Ferris, one needle at a time.