As you may remember from the last post, I recently pulled out my custom, homemade IVF binder that I created once upon a time ago to tract everything I was going through.  Kind of like the wedding binder I made myself, but now for how to have a baby (the Monica Geller coming out in me again).  Not knowing what the outcome, or outcomes, would be, I wanted to be able to remember what Dan and I did in IVF as the years go by.


Now that I am an infertility awareness advocate, and a children’s author, this binder is more than a gift to my son to show him how much we wanted him, but also a basis for me to share with all of you the journey that I took to bring him here.


But like Vegas, IVF is a risk and a gamble with faith, love, and science.  There was no telling how the binder would end.


Going back to the very beginning, as I flip the next page, I come across the first set of instructions indicating the start of taking birth control pills every night for a week before going back in for blood tests and an ultra sound.


How it is all coming back to me like it was yesterday.


Here I was, April 2017, right before my husband’s birthday, and I was being told to begin taking birth control…again.


Yea…bring on the cake and ice cream (insert major sarcasm).


For medical reasons, I had been on birth control since I was in high school.  I felt like over half of my life I was tied to this little pill to stay regular with a cycle.  Now, it was a time in my life where I wanted to have a baby, and for medical reasons again, I was being told to get back on it.


If even only for a short time.


This was the very beginning for me with IVF.  As I go through my binder and share the experiences with you, I am also brought back to a time when everything was foreign to me.  I can see now what I was doing and why, but back then, it always seemed like a touch-and-go situation.


Taking a pill on demand so that I could have a cycle start and stop for medical tracking and to prepare my body for what would happen next…pretty intense and yet, it was only the start.


Birth control never really bothered me before.  I didn’t gain weight, and I was never a smoker.  However, I did get really, really hot and sweaty.  And often.


To this day, I am always feeling like a hot mess, as you will typically see me with my hair pulled back until fall hits Chicago.  However, I remember when I went back on those birth control pills, so did my sweaty internal temperature.


Talk about one attractive lady, I was.


Not being able to see into the future, there was going to be a few more times I would be back on the pill to get things regulated.  Literally, the baby steps to the strict regime I would soon be getting used to about where and when to take medications and not deviate from that schedule.


All so important that I can honestly say it would mean life or death if I did not follow correctly.