Six feet back.
Canceled infertility cycles.
Deliveries without a loved one present.
There is a lot of history-in-the-making going on in 2020.
And I often look in the mirror and ask, “Where do I see myself in all of this?”
As a mother, first and foremost:
I believe in standing up for what you deem true at all costs. Even when my view is not popular, looked down upon or even overlooked. I have a voice and quite frankly, I have the want and desire to be a role model for my son. I try to see the truth, understand the facts while taking along my brain, and yet, guide through the unknown with my heart.
Don’t believe me? Why do you think I write children’s books on a “tough topic”?
Children have no filter. They have no bias. They like people who relate to them and share and play nice. They cry when they are hurt. They don’t like to be in pain. They see a smile, a hand held out to join in (and they could care less if it was washed for 20 seconds), and they always want to be included.
As a mom, my mission is to set a positive, strong, and encouraging example for Ferris. I want him to know that no. matter. what, I have his best interest in mind, and I will always support him. He wants to protest, I will be by his side. He wants to speak out against the mass; I will be there with him. He was born to live. IVF was hard on my body, mentally exhausting, and financially the biggest Vegas gamble in my lifetime.
And it was worth it all.
Because I was able to give an independent soul, a breath of air to allow him to think and act and live as he wants. And I will be there to guide and listen and instill direction on him as I see fit. I’m not going to raise a jerk. I never want Ferris to feel as if anyone owes him anything because the world was here first.
And no one owes him a thing.
As an author:
I created the I’m Very Ferris series to give little ones a voice in a world that is often “hush-hush”. So many people shy away from talking about “where babies come from”.
What are we so ashamed of? Talk about parts of the body! It’s a penis and a vagina. Talk about where an IVF conception comes from! Do you think for one second I don’t believe that I was meant to go through these experiences for a reason? And it is my passion in translating for young minds a simple, easy-to-digest explanation of how infertility brings babies through IVF in picture books.
Does everyone agree with it? Of course not. And why should they? But, the majority does, and that is why I am writing a series and am up to two books. I have a voice, and I have a talent in the form of writing.
And I’m not done yet.
As an infertility advocate:
Infertility doesn’t care what the color of your skin is. It doesn’t care if you wear a mask or not. It doesn’t care what you do for a profession.
It doesn’t care if you want one child or seven.
It doesn’t care.
And so I don’t want people to think they are alone in this ride. Because even once you have your “complete” family, infertility is still a part of you. It’s a diagnosis that doesn’t go away. Giving women and men a voice, a platform, a place to laugh and a place to share raw experiences is why I joined social media in the first place. Truth be told, I hated social media. But, I love what it does for us as a community. So I joined, and I enjoy the daily interactions I have with people who simply want to be a part of something that helps them remember that together, we are 1 in 8.
This is where I stand.
I am a mother who is raising an embryo-that-could. And since he is still a little, I use my ability as an author to show the world what I believe, and as an advocate, my posts and voice are spoken everyday with the goal of bringing people respect, understanding, and comfort.